I Think I Can, I Think, I Can, I Think I Can!
Developing Can-Do Thinking in your Child
by Cary Zavala, MA, LPC/
Self-talk is basically our inner voice, the voice in our head, the subtle running commentary going on in the background of our minds. Everyone has this happening, often without us even realizing it. And what we say in our mind greatly influences our feelings and behaviors. Positive self-talk tends to make us feel good, more positive and optimistic, whereas negative self-talk often leads to anxious and distressed feelings, and can make us feel pretty crappy. Learning to notice and change up our self talk when needed, can help us to feel better about ourselves, boost our confidence to try new things, help with relationships, and allow us to feel better able to manage our lives and accomplish our goals.
This month’s Parent Education Series focused on helping parents understand the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A long-time favorite children’s book “The Little Engine that Could,” gives a way to teach the concept of positive self-talk to little ones, as does the tale of Chicken Little. Another favorite, “The Can Do Duck: A Story About Believing in Yourself” was read aloud and parents were shown how books may be used as a tool to open the door for discussion about positive self-talk and its benefits.
This extraordinary little duck and his mama taught us some ways to learn to overcome fears and a process for achieving new goals. Other helpful lessons throughout the story included:
- The importance of planning ahead.
- Breaking tasks down into smaller steps and encouraging each step along the way.
- Using visualization or imagining yourself getting through difficult tasks (a skill used by Olympic athletes!)
- The use of modeling gentle, positive, persistent encouragement to build up children’s courage and confidence.
- The importance of unconditional positive love – “I love you for being you, not because of what you do.
Thank you Ducktor Morty, M.D. for writing this wonderful, gem of a tale and for the encouraging, positive words:
“I say, I CAN.
I make a plan.
I get right to it.
And then I do it!”
And many thanks to Great Start for giving each attendee “The Kissing Hand” book to encourage parents to use books as tools to help teach children through stories.
How is your self-talk? There are ways you can develop more helpful self-talk, including just listening to what you’re saying to yourself each day. It’s worth practicing positive self-talk, as feeling confident and capable (and passing these feelings and skills on to your children) is worth the effort.
… is a licensed professional counselor and a skilled parenting educator. Cary is joining with Lenawee Great Start in presenting a series of Parent Education talks during the 2017-2018 year (register here to attend!).by